On My Mind: Dressing To Please

denim-jacket

Last weekend was my graduation from university and the struggle on what to wear for this special occasion was REAL. I wanted to look appropriately dressed, but also not stiff or old fashioned. First I choose an outfit, that made me look quite grownup and clean and that I wanted to please and impress the people around me with, but when I looked at myself in the mirror, it just did not seem right.  So I tried not to think of pleasing anyone with my outfit, and made a second try to find something to wear. And it was a great success! I found a playful blouse with a spring vibe that looked amazing with my black skirt and plateau ankle boots. So today I want to talk about: “Dressing to please”. It´s something I unknowingly did in the past, and it was only recently that I discovered how restrictive and unhealthy this behaviour is!

I think dressing a certain way to please friends, family or strangers is deeply rooted in a desire we all have: that others like the way we look. And that´s totally fine, but I think it´s important not trying to be liked MORE by dressing how others want you to. People should like you for your cute personality, but how you dress, should not affect how much they like you…and if it does, these people have a problem they should work on, because that´s really superficial!

Maybe we try to keep us out of the firing line of people with such a narrow mindset, because , sadly, they exist. We conform by dressing to please them. We try to protect ourselfs, trying to not be an easy target, and it´s something I understand, I really do, but I also understand something different now: It steals a big piece of freedom from you! The freedom to wear what ever YOU want! It´s restrictive and also, let´s face it, quite sad…

Nobody should ever have that much power over your decisions! The choice of what to wear is a really personal. Base it on your mood, on the weather or on the occasion, but not on the need to please anyone with your appearance. Stop trying to please, it´s only time consuming and tiring and it doesn´t make you happy. Because, let´s face it, you can´t please them all! It´s not possible…

Since I had this realisation, my style started to change. It got carefree and joyful, and it was so nice to notice! I wear patterns or colours together that some people might not like, but I love them and, in the end, that´s all that matters.

With this post I want to encourage you to do the same. STOP trying to please people, I tell you, it´s going to be a freeing experience! By the way: This mantra is something you can and should use for a lot of aspects of your life, I think, not just for dressing. For example for your career path or your lifestyle….if it makes YOU happy, go for it 🙂

I hope you can relate to this topic and maybe learn or gain something from the post…please let me know your thoughts in the comments, I really want to know…

I wish you the best day ever!

Shanice

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8 comments so far.

8 responses to “On My Mind: Dressing To Please”

  1. Katherine says:

    I have always been a people pleaser and I think you make a good point when you say that it’s a freeing experience when you stop trying to please people. Thanks for sharing this!

    http://www.myclusterofthoughts.com/

  2. This is such a lovely and well-written post. My graduation is coming up in July and I have no idea what to wear. I want to be comfy but also look great and feel super confident!

    Abigail Alice 💕

  3. Carmen says:

    I totally agree with you on this point! It’s so important to show who you are and to dress exactly the way you are. Overdoing it because others like it is never good 🙂
    xx, Carmen – http://www.carmitive.com

  4. Freya Farrington says:

    Great post, I’m definitely making more of an effort with my fashion choices not for others but for myself! 🙂

    Much love
    Freya
    x
    Freya Farrington “www.freyafarrington.com”

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